mAiN mAsaK-MAsaK…
"Mula-mula, masukkan 3 biji telur…(whilst grabbing 3 odd-looking stones from the ground and imitating the act of cracking the shell – it ain’t gonna crack, i tell ya! =P)
Lepas tu, masukkan garam secukup rasa…(whilst pouring a mixture of sand + cat’s poop to add some flavour & scent into it..hmmm, exquisite!)
Kemudian, masukkan sayur & gaulkan adunan sehingga sebati…(snubbingly ignoring the yelling and nagging from the next door neighbour for denuding the leaves off their plants…Oops, sorry makcik!)
Yada..yada..yada…”
As a kid, we (and our imaginary friends) always dream of having a perfect wedding, ambition to become a successful professional (i.e: doctor, lawyer, magistrate etc.), fantasizing on becoming the perfect wife + mother cum superwoman (good in cooking & juggling with kids & career – NEVER EVER uttered by any kids that they wanted to be a “stay-home mum” when they were being asked the famous question; “What do you want to be when you grow up?”). Our imaginations tend to run wild & high, where we wish that all our dreams will come true…yeah-those were the days…when we make-believe that nothing in this world could ever stop us from achieving anything…SUPERHERO we are…and HAPPY ENDING we believe in…
As a grown up, do we care less now?
“Err..takda masa lah! Kerja banyak sangat ni”… "Ala, masak untuk 2 orang rugilah…kita tapau je-lah!”… "Kalau kene food-poisoning tak jamin yer!”… Excuses, excuses and more excuses.. OK–U got me! I’m so screwed… I SUCK BIGTIME AT COOKING! At least I’m beginning to realize that now… before it’s too late…
I can still recall my first catastrophe in cooking and that was sometime during my Uni days…during fasting month to be exact. It all started when I was in a jolly-good mood when I offered myself to cook some meals for “buka puasa” … Thinking that i’m doing my ol’ folks at home a favour and good deed for the family, I have been given the TRUST and flexibility to own the kitchen on that particular day. Doing my “The Naked Chef” moves, Yes–everything went just fine………………………………until suddenly the unpleasant smell of something “hangit” punctured the clean air whilst I was “maneuvering” the “kuali” with a cloth in one hand and a ladle in another. I guess the smell of the burnt cooking spreads to the living room, when out of the blue, my mom showed up in the kitchen sniffing for “trouble” I have just caused. I checked the meal that I was cooking and confidently I responded to mom that there’s nothing to worry about because the meal is still in good shape and looks deliciously-fine to me, despite the increasingly awful smell of “hangit” still lingering in the air, err…somewhere! All of a sudden, my mom gone berserk when she noticed that the cloth I’m holding on to was already caught on fire and burning fiercely until the extend of me throwing the cloth in panic motion to the floor then to the sink causing chaos in the kitchen for a while…In a nutshell, after series of nagging (albeit the meals I cooked turn out well eventually)…there goes my TRUST from my ol’folks on me, cooking (i was ONLY trusted to help out on the ‘chopping’ and ‘stirring’ part during any cooking whatsoever, ever since)…and yeah–COOKING-PHOBIA still haunts me…
Recently, an unintended conversation made me come to my senses; I was being thrown a Cooking Pop-Quiz by “si-dia” to test on my ability & understanding of cooking <– which shows how cooking brings a great deal to one’s relationship…even worse, marriage!!! (Damn it, the quote “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” does make sense now!! haih~)
I guess i shall not let this prolong. Scrap those excuses away. I am a superwoman (at least I “try” to believe I am). And a good friend of mine’s motto; “TRY HARDER” kept echoing in my mind which kept the spirit alive…(Terima Kasih, sahabat–right back at cha!)
Against all odds, I stumbled upon a discovery from one of my besties page (credits to lurvely Pait!):
I guess it’s about time, for me to embark in this “challenging” journey I shall say and yes–your support and encouragement is highly appreciated. Mom, MamaYong, Sis Eyna & Sis Maya; thanks for the inspiration and guidance throughout my cooking experience (Tunjuk ajarku, sifu!). I owe you guys lots!
And indeed yesterday; Raya Haji day was a perfect trial & tribulation for me to demonstrate my cooking ability; Nasi Beriyani, Ayam Masak Merah, Dalca etc. Alhamdulillah, with thorough supervision by MamaYong, I was able to gain back their TRUST in me helping out with the cooking.
May this sincere aspiration of mine becomes my next year’s resolution…and the year after…and ever after~
“Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha & a Happy New Year!!!”
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a tRiBuTe tO deAtH oF a fRieNd~
Grief touches all of us when we were broken with the tragic news, recently.
His death has evoked a deep sense of loss to almost everyone in our batch [UTP-MayJuly’2001].
As I burst the bubble about the loss to one of my besties, it was really a shocker for her. As the deceased and her have dark histories way back then. I can still recall our awkward conversation the other day over the phone, as she uttered miserably, “…I didn’t really expect that it will end up this way..after all the quarrels and cursing…that’s the last thing I can remember about him…I really feel bad about it, hanim…”
I guess so many words that were spoken in pain and rage now seem utterly unimportant and immature. The words that really counted—“I’m sorry”—were the ones never spoken and that has left a great deal of regret.
This tragedy has taught me a few things; In the end, so much of what seems important at the time doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t matter who messed up with whom or which one of you cried more tears. Whatever the slight, real or unintended, what truly matter is saying, “I’m sorry”; What truly matter is that, at least for a while, we know we had cared for each other. And there’s no revenge or feeling of hatred shall be kept by any of us. Let go of the angst before it’s too late. For the soul shall rest in peace.
Forgiveness — it’s such a simple concept but such a hard thing to practice. How much easier it is for us to hold on to our resentments, thinking that we have all the time in the world to straighten things out with someone else down the line.
It’s not a question of whether or not they deserve to be forgiven. You are not forgiving them for their sake. You’re doing it for yourself. For your own physical and mental health and well-being, forgiveness is crucial. It frees you from the toxic drain of rage and disappointment.
Perhaps now, in death, he knows that albeit she may never had the maturity, strength and courage to say the things she wanted to in life. However, it’s never too late to forgive and forget. Try to remember those things that make you happy and grief will leave without saying goodbye.
I bet this tragedy saddens everyone to the core…
In loving memories of Victor @ S.Vickneswaran. Deepest sympathy to his family and friends. May his soul departed in peace. Amen.
“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today” — James Dean
tHe beAutY oF iMPeRFectiON~
It’s this time around — during wedding season, we bumped into some old friends and managed to catch up on things we had left off. Apart from being happy for the newly weds (with a lil’ bit mixed feelings of envy+tempted but in denial+err..scary), amongst our conversations were also about several hilarious moments and some melancholy we or others faced in life. Still recalling those days — the moment of triumph and happiness others have gone through, which everyone else could ever dreamt off.
Enviousness — bombarded by the images of ‘perfection’ in other people’s life–the perfect looks & body, the ultimate companion with the perfect relationship, the desired properties; i.e car(s), house(s), a healthy bank balance contributed by the perfect job and so on; These resentful desires sometime led us to believe that once we reach these ideals only then we felt that our life is a pride– thou we shall not shy away from the rest, so we tend to push ourselves through, sometimes too hard though, just so that we can catch up, just so that we are not being left out– just to make us happy.
But alas, is it ‘happiness’ that we truly achieve?
Yeah — i know quite a number of my acquaintance aspire to have it all — the perfection in life. Infact, they set out pretty well, which we thought at first their ‘Happily Ever After’ was all sewn up until unexpectedly –- they crash & burn.
Lesson learnt:
1. Planet Earth is a place of learning and karma balancing. So even if you achieve your dreams in one area of your life, other areas will be lacking.
2. What happened in the past or surrounds you may be caused by bitch/bitches who fucked up. However, we are human beings with distinctive personality, nature and most importantly, principles. Thus, there’s no reason for someone else to be punished for the mistakes one did not even started. Let go of the grudge & give others a chance to heal your soul.
3. You don’t always get what you want in your life. Thus, love someone for who they are with their perceived flaws and imperfections.
With such challenges lie ahead, these are some of the things my other half & I need to ponder upon to work out on our imperfect relationship *wink wink*. I must say that I am imperfect. And this world is imperfect, too. Why is that so? Because you are imperfect as well. And it is there, hiding in the layers of these imperfections, that beauty exists.
“A blessing in disguise” — I’ve always believed in the hidden beauty of a situation, but I wasn’t able to see what wasn’t obvious at first; this is where I always grumble, regret and felt that life is meaningless when shit happens. After some life experiences, I’ve developed a sixth sense for finding what seems invisible–the acceptance of imperfections in this wonderfully imperfect world.
The thing is, everyone at some point in their lives will face a situation that is out of their control. We all will desperately cry out “Why me?” when this happens. I must say it really hurts to see someone suffering — which sometimes to the extent of torturing themselves for what has destined to be.
Suffering is our bonding experience as people. No one’s suffering is greater or less than another’s. It is part of the human experience and common denominator. And it is up to us to encounter this. With support from others, you can either accept them or cease to move on.
For my dearly beloved friends (you know who you are), do allow others to reach out to you. But, in order to truly reach out with completely open arms, one must be free from judgment. Judgment keeps our arms from expanding fully. We judge others when we fear ourselves which eventually resulted to us shutting out everyone else. However, judgment is weak. When we free ourselves from judgment and truly accept another person (including all of their imperfections), grace extends our arms and welcomes them with love.
As wise man saying, “Imperfect flowers make great potpourri, and good-hearted people come in all shapes, colours and socio-economic backgrounds”. Thus, do not let love passes by just because your judgments are made on fantasy criteria instead of looking within, and following your heart and higher self in your life choices…
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