.: uNbeaUty-FoOL beAuTy :.
All this while, physical appearance has never been that great deal to me. I always believe that physical appearance comes a distant second behind personality.
Love me for who I am. I just hope people could just see the beautiful side of my “ugly” and appreciate it the way those who love me do.
That pretty much explains how suck I am at my lame attempt for dietary solutions…as I usually do not take it seriously! (*hampeh!*)
I can still recall the-battle-to-be-gorgeous amongst my girlfriends back in the Uni days, where consuming McVites’ digestive biscuits (‘Biskut Berak’), ‘Teh Kampung’, Xenical pills etc. seems to be a phenomenon…where they did not really mind going back and forth to the loo every other minute to flush away their nasty fat down the toilet bowl.
And where was I when all this happen?
Committing my greatest sin of all — GLUTTONY. As I would usually nicely resting my ugly-flabby-wobbly-jelly-belly-tummy on a comfy surface whilst engorging McDonald’s Sundae Chocolate or any form of evil force appearing in the form of luscious food. Urghh, what a horrible sight!
I must admit though, I do feel a bit envy by the swan-like beauty my fellow galpals turned out to be. Further to seeing ravishing brides fitting into their curve-hugging-cuts wedding gown plus not having the ‘pelamin’ to collapse due to overload capacity. This quirky feeling suddenly arouses; the feeling of insecure – had I known that I’m actually suffering ’Inferiority Complex’.
It’s all too often for people to throw some ‘FATso’ jokes or comments on me, there are also times where some people even mistaken me for being pregnant or at the state of happiness thinking that my appetite grows bigger whenever I’m happy-contrariwise-NOT! Yet, as hard as I would have to swallow it, i’m almost immuned to the remarks already, without even denying the facts as it is the truth and nothing but the truth.
I always tell myself to do something about it. But, things are always easier said than done. My sincere intention to nip and tuck those saggy skin and fat away usually dematerialize due to lack of determination and full of obstacles; I call it temptations, people call it excuses.
Nevertheless, with all those effort initially being put up; those trips to the gym ($$$), refraining from carbs or worst; desserts (the toughest pursuit of all. As smokers can’t live without nicotine. I can’t live without glucose running through my vein either!). So much for all those endeavor being put up, there it goes; WASTED~ Just like any other hopeless goal I had in mind.
‘Hangat-hangat taik ayam’– would probably be the best statement to describe all this.
While I’m having my own dilemma to deal with, in a larger perspective, the nation has its own responsibility to contemplate to. Yes, the ‘Pilihanraya’ season is back. Everyone’s fighting over for votes with the ultimate objective to serve the ‘rakyat’.
To me, you don’t have to be politicians to provide service to mankind.
You can even start-off by doing good deeds to the people in need in any form of sincere contributions you’re capable of.
Energy Receive. Energy Return. Aspiring People Everywhere.
Ramblings of the day [Part 1]
This post is written under the influence (neither due to drugs nor alcohol just purely stress). To remove the trainwreck of thoughts free from my aching soul…
“NO BLAMING. NO COMPLAIN. NO EXCUSE”
A motto i’ve learnt during my induction programme (PIPE). Something that is easier said than done.
Statement number one…
I came back from work today feeling like shit-I’m sorry to say. After picking up bad vibrations from morning till night, the last thing on earth that I would expect coming from my boss is — blame. Grrr, blaming culture. Pretentious they are. Foolish i am.
That brings me to statement number two…
Hurt. Can’t help it. Don’t mean to complain. Just need a tearless-crying shoulder. Then again, maybe not. Serik. Just yesterday I felt a lil’ bit better by opening up to people. So I thought, hey, maybe this is the best remedy afterall. So i did it again today. Yes, i finally talk to people (someone whom I really trust) about my melancholy only to be shut out with painful reply like; “Stop complaining already. You make me feel guilty for not being able to help you out on your problem(s). So stop whining & deal with it. You gotta be strong. Life is like that. Life is full of challenges”. Yes, in a way, that statement really boosts my survival instinct to be tough in dealing with problems without relying on a shoulder to lean on. Which is good. But, important lesson i’ve learnt today – never ever count on other people even to share your despair with. It’ll make them even more miserable. They have enough problems to deal with already. Thus, suck it back in & DEAL WITH IT!!!
So, I’m back to square one. No further excuses (Aha, statement number three!).
My remedy = translate my agony into work of art (yes, far far away from dragging other people into your lugubrious life, please!).
Hmm, you may say that life would be a better place if all three elements of this motto are well implemented, i guess…
“NO BLAMING. NO COMPLAIN. NO EXCUSE”
A friend of mine once mentioned, “Allow yourself to look at the world in a larger view”. Indeed i need a time out. Not now though. Maybe someday. I don’t run from problems. But, I really need a time off. Away from all this trouble. To appreciate & reflect life from a different angle. A vacation would do me good.
Yes, my fellow galpals…Listen up, let’s make our road-trip happen ok… Else, i’ll go crazy! (Haha, yes this is a threat! =P)
Uncategorized | Comments (2)In search of tranquility…i’ve found it all here~
I’m a big bully. I love kiddos. They hated me. Kiddos at home especially; Nana, Toman, Ninut, Zayep Dol, Ayana – I love u guys. You guys drive me up the wall! Sorry for having to holler at you kiddos most of the time. Yes, i’m THE wicked Kak/Aunty Adeq for that matter. Terima kasih. Perhaps i got carried away due to the stressful work i’m piled up with. Ampun. Probably because you kiddos sometimes pushed my button way too hard too. Spank you, then you know! (OoOoo, wicked me!)
Don’t get me wrong, i love having you kiddos around. Without all of you, my life is meaningless. I might end up like Heath Ledger, taking away own life due to boredom, loneliness & forlorn (i know, i’m just speculating!). Only God knows why…
With sincere philanthropy & love for humankind (in other words, not having to nag & spank you kiddos further), here i am….in search of tranquility… with my usual order: Java Chip Grande & Almond Biscotti lay nicely on the mini table (as my saliva oozing from my tongue, i need those just to fuel my heart, to muster out crappy ideas, indeed i crave for it so as to feel at ease~)…myself , with folded legs, sitting back & relax on the cozy couch with my foliage-coloured laptop placed nicely on my lap (hey it make sense, no wonder it is called ’lap’top.. Wow! Duh~ Please excuse myself for beginning to sound like airheads; Bill & Ted from one of their excellent adventure–Woah, dude!) …& yeah-not forgetting the Corrine Bailey Rae jazzy tunes lingering in the background, i almost felt like i’m in Heaven.. Only to realize that my journey to paradise is still far, far away… it’s time for reality check, here i am…all alone…. ( + a bunch of strangers minding their own business, of course!)…blogging peacefully…at STARBUCKS…
This hotspot of mine seemed to make a good rehab for me to rejuvenate & put my mind off things that could contribute me in transforming into ‘Incredible Hulk’! Indeed i’m a reserved person, one could say. This is just me, i am the way i am…
All my life, i have been holding on to that principle; ‘THE WAY I AM’ ever since Eminem sermons it in his rap number. Expecting other people to either bare with it or beat it with one’s own behaviour. I know, it’s good to have people accepting you the way you are, rather than being someone you are not. But along the way, my life experiences have taught me that sometimes, being too stubborn-headed vindicating one’s own beliefs does not necessarily pay. Yes, you have your own principles in life you should abide too. But, there’s no harm in being open-minded rather than being offensive or defensive with others’ constructive criticisms. The key is to have a clear conscience. Sometimes, a change would do you good too. “Change we can believe in” as Obama puts it, i guess there’s no harm for one to consider changing or ‘improving’ for the betterment of oneself…
And that’s what we call; TRANSFORMATION (as Answers.com defines it: ‘ A marked change, as in appearance or character, usually for the better.’)
Yes, lately i have been highly involved in my Organization’s Transformation (i.e: Change in Structure, Change in Work Processes, and most importantly; Change in Mindset). And yes, as a Change Agent…indeed it is a challenge!
As we are undergoing this Transformation Journey, words of wisdom from our Senior General Manager still lingering in our heads…giving us hope, inspirations and strength to survive;
“Iqra Bismirabbikal-Ladzi Khalaq” (Surah Al-Alaq)
This is the very first Surah revealed to the Holy Prophet Mohamed (SAW). This revelation ushered in the beginning of a series of revelations that lasted 23 years, during which time the whole of Arabia and its people were totally transformed . The most significant transformation was the end of the Period of Jahiliya-ignorance . The whole of Arabia, nay the entire humanity , was in a period of darkness & ignorance that were breeding grounds for superstition , idol-worship , oppression , discrimination , immorality & abuse. The Prophet (SAW) brought the light of knowledge through the Quran and through his glorious example. These sources have remained beacons of light & guidance for humanity for the past 1400 years and will continue to inspire, motivate and transform people of all ages until the Last Day.
Quoting the message from Quran & Sunnah, we know, our Senior General Manager’s kind intention is to set examples for his apprentices, instill values in them, with hope of leaving a legacy behind…
By holding firm to the Message, Insya-Allah moral force may lead mankind out of degradation and despair into hope and contentment by its transformational Eternal Message. There is only one pre-condition for this:
Verily, never will God Almighty change a condition of people unless they change it themselves, sincerely with their souls..
This transformation challenge somehow reflects back to my own personal journey…Sure it’s tough, i bet… but i guess, we need to start somewhere somehow right?
Hmm, mulakan dengan Bismillah….
Oh ya you kiddos, don’t you worry a thing ok…It’s all about transforming into a better you… I guess, i’ll take back my words on transforming into “Incredible Hulk” ok…..err, I hope…(So, play nice!!) =P
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