.: cOLouR bLiNd :.

I’ve been known as “weepy” hollow by some of my close friends and family for shredding tears easily regardless of any emotions i’m in; i.e. sad, happy, angry, scared, proud, pity, funny etc. (could possibly caused by hormones from puberty (haa?) or from chemical imbalance in the brain–so the ingenious Mr. Yahoo! Answers has it!)  **urgh, crybaby!**

This morning, being pathetic as i am, i even cried as i witnessed an old Indian man singing “Negaraku” song with a pitiful-yet-proudly sight of him striving to stand tall in the hot sun at Dataran Merdeka broadcast live on TV in conjunction with the Merdeka Celebration.

Those who caught me in a tearful sight; My sister for instance, thought i was over reacting. My little nephew however, thought he had done something wrong which had made his fragile aunty cried, felt guilty thus pat me gently on the head in an attempt to console me instead. Aww~

Neither one of those were the root-cause of my disgraceful behaviour, actually. I am just simply touched by the heartwarming sight. Simplicity. This simple sight that tug at the heartstrings have always bring out the compassion within me.

In this auspicious event, i’ve decided to scribble something about an office buddy of mine; others call him, “William Hung”, i call him, “Walking Wikedpedia”; thanks for the insightful facts and vocabularies he has been feeding me, warped sense of humour, striking honesty and the raw sarcasm he has blurted out every now and then.

As weirdo people may assume i am, others might have perceived him the same. Just the other day, i walked passed by his cubicle when i heard him humming and singing the tunes of “Dondang Sayang” and a few other nostalgic songs. WTF? He said he was in Merdeka Spirit. Nothing’s wrong with that. In fact, i’ve found it rather amusing, considering the fact that; 1) i felt ashamed that i, myself as Malay couldn’t even get the lyrics right 2) both of us are from the same generation however when it comes to this, he seemed to be a blast from the past.

Two days back, he asked me to guide him in Jawi translation. I was quite suspicious at first questioning myself, “what on earth is he up to, now?” My query was then answered when he popped up at my cubicle, stood there straight, with his arms by his side, singing proudly the national anthem of …Bahrain…then Egypt…in Arabic language! OMG, it made me burst in tears of laughters! He had actually impressed me, he really did! People surround us gave us this bizarre look on their faces responding to our reactions. Ah, but who cares!

For me, he’s unique and one of a kind. Glad that both of us are buddies despite our differences in race and religion.

I truly believe that we should take people as individual first and not race, culture, colour or nationality. Don’t ever stereotype others as we ourselves do not favour to be stereotyped too.

These simple acts had such an impact in my life.

Life is made up of many ordinary, even peculiar, everyday things. These little things mold our personalities and those of the people around us, and they will most certainly be missed when they are gone. And in the bigger picture, these little things can sometimes teach us fairly huge lessons. Hidden in everyday conversation and in the actions of others are sentiments and words of advice that deserve to be remembered. You never know when these words might be perfect inspiration for your life. Point taken. Lesson learned.

Happy Birthday Malaysia & Salam Ramadhan Al-Mubarak…

THOUGHTS TO PONDER UPON: In this holy month, I’m not trying to become pious or anything, but i don’t favour observing lots of rage, dissatisfactions & complaints happened lately with regards to monetary ($$$). A piece of advice; for the aching knees we took in stride, we should savour, knowing we’ve received blessings of God’s favour. God is great. Trust in faith. Insya-Allah, God will show us the right path.

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HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: HoMe beFoRe daRk

It is Wednesday evening and i’m relaxing at the couch with a cold drink and a chocolate. It has taken me twenty odd years to realize i occasionally need to take time out for myself. In this day and age, most of us would describe ourselves as being busy. It’s usually the answer i give when anyone asks how i’m doing. However, despite how hectic our lives seem to be, there are various moments throughout our day when we are alone, if only for a few moments. It’s those moments when we can take time to think, collect our thoughts and maybe even write those thoughts down. These little glimpses of our mind are excellent representations of our day-to-day living.

Today, was so special for me as this is the first time after so goddamn long, i managed to head home from work while the sun is still shining brightly in the sky. Every step i took, every move i made on my way back, i can feel myself galloping in rhythm, humming to the tunes. My parents even got a shock of their life when i appeared at the doorstep; asking me whether i’m feeling well or not, thinking that my sickness may somehow contribute sympathy from my boss where she might be kind enough to release me early. Today, somehow i escaped getting these sarcastic remarks i normally get from my dear office mate, where he usually passes by my cubicle almost every day, before he goes back and signal me the big “L” sign on his forehead indicating me, how such a LOSER i am. *shesh*

On my way back, a friend of mine called me up and caught me in a jolly good mood, for something so lame (i know. i know. who cares. at least i’m not a loser today!). She told me I was nuts, but also wished me the best for all the things i wanted to happen in the new day.

Still at the couch, after recovering from a short nap, i figured, i should write something about this, as this is rather true reflection of my own thoughts, spontaneous, random thoughts that come to mind as we go about our daily lives. Here i am, writing; you’ll be surprised how much of our inner-self can be encapsulated in a prayer i wrote for myself…

Dear God, we thank you for this day,

and for the things it may bring us.

We thank you for the chocolate,

and for the extra kilograms it has caused us.

We know there are people out there less fortunate than us,

as we constantly remind ourselves to wallop the dinner mummy served,thankfully,

not a single leftovers on the plate,

we tend to top up more instead..

We thank you for the family and friends,

you have graced us with.

We pray to you that tomorrow treat us kindly.

May the sun shine,

may peace enlighten the hearts of friends and family and even bosses too,

and may the sufferings tomorrow ends early,

so that i get to go back in a jingly-mood again. Yeay.

Amen.

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.: dEaRie’s HoMe :.

Some things become such a constant in our lives that we don’t realize we will miss them until they are gone. Each day arrives and we go about our daily business with these things being a regular part of life.

For as long as we have been together, i have sub-consciously listened, and getting used to the sound of your caller ringtone at the end of the day.

It is one of those things that i hear almost everyday, we don’t really notice how much we rely on it for comfort. Until it’s gone. Silence. And I felt so solitary.

I noticed the rainbows that reflect in through the windows. It doesn’t happen all the time. I remember you caught the rainbow prisms shone through the beveled cut glass window. There always seems to be something magical about the rainbow. I guess it would be an extra special day if we catch one for our very own.

Today, you’re back and I’m glad that our farewell wave was only for temporary.

Today, you bought me cherry chewies. We both blew bubbles. I hear you chuckles. Feeling comfort in your cuddles.

So beat it, if people make fun of us.

Yeah, we’ve been together long enough. So what?

So crazy when the questions pop. We both run.

We so can’t take each other seriously (right now).

We figured, will the vow on the sacred day guarantee us an eternal love? Well, i guess it’s possible if we TRY.

Or shall we hold on to the promises we made along the way. Catching rainbows when the sun was at the right angle in the sky.

Let the imaginations run wild. Let the dreams fly high upon the wings of the wind.

Let the destiny determines our path. May our dreams come to a happy ending.

** To whom i felt lost without you, for making evanescent things memorable and special **

** To Xack, who caught me in the act. Hmm…So? =P **

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.: LoSiNg GRiP :.

In attempt to cling on, i reached out for a grip, struggling.

Then you cut me loose.

In an ocean of zombies, I found myself floating.

Feeling confused.

Swerving, churning, hitting.

I found myself bruised…

…

I’m beginning to fall, when I let myself go.

Gasping to breathe, as i submerged.

I must stand up tall, once and for all.

I shall not be weak, I shall not diverge.

Need to gain my balance and take control…

…

Life is chaotic and crazy.

It’s your choice to make it worthy.

…

Moral of the story : Learn to balance life.

Moral of the story (cynical): Wear flat shoes. Reduce some weight!

** inspired by the commotion in the tube on a busy morning **

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.: SiLLy BiLLy :.

I have a friend. His name is Billy.

He’s humble but needy. Probably due to his insecurity.

We don’t talk much. Our silence is rather quirky.

Though with him, there’s no shame in being crazy.

So tell me, is it synchronicity or is it chemistry?

…

Our contradicting opinions may somehow be abusive.

He claims happiness is far beyond reach, but i think he’s being selective.

So his heart disfigured. So what? I ain’t gonna judge him as negative.

I thought i can live without him. But somehow his sarcasm may be addictive.

…

I’m reckless and a mess. I tend to seek advice.

He speaks his mind. The words he writes may kinda turn into knives.

Well the truth hurts. We may live in denial. Life is full of disguise.

I’m running away. So that i will not cross the line, as guilt arise.

Fear of tightrope walk, with a blindfold on my eyes.

Don’t let me fall for it. Trust me Billy, your star will appear in your sky.

…

Anyhow dear Billy, i’m just glad that you’ve appeared in my life…

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.: VaGuE :.

Yesterday, the network at the office went down.

A colleague of mine asked me a simple question and it took me a few minutes or so for me to respond to it, correctly.

Later, it took me a few hours searching high and low like a mad lady for missing documents i could have sworn i held it in my hands moments before that.

My colleague made fun of my inattentiveness by resembling my memory loss to the network condition at the office that day.

Another peer, acting dexterous came up with a hypothesis of my absent minded-ness, saying that it was actually caused by cerebral circulation and oxygen metabolism associated with subclinical preriventricular hyperintensity generating idioticity *duhh, whatever!*

I, on the other hand, simply blame it due to the fact that it was already a Friday and my mind is nowhere near work but anticipating for the weekend to come! *TGIF!*

Actually, my poor memory and concentration span are both joke and a bit of concern. Conversations will often go in one ear and out the other.

I write myself notes to remember things and then forget where i left the notes *goodness gracious!*. Don’t get me started on series of misplaced items, overlooking birthdays and forgetting people’s names!*gosh*

I have been known to share stories with friends and when asked about it years later, i have no clue what they are talking about.

I rely a lot on photos to refresh my memories as i must say that most of my past memories were erased to make way for more storage capacity to archive day-to-day happenings.

I think, i really need a better filing system for my cluttered brain.

My mum even suggested me to consume a dose of Ginko Biloba a day to boost my memory. I told her, “Genki Sushi is fine for me mum, but Ginko Biloba? Oh God, thanks but no thanks mum, please~”.

I know i shouldn’t be so vague.

I know i should’ve pay more attention.

I guess that i live in a world of my own and all that i know is all that i’ve known.

If only i know what’s going on in my head.

Manusia mudah alpa.

Melayu mudah lupa.

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.: SuPeRWoMaN :.

Today, i witnessed one “Mat Saleh” couple snogging and caressing each others’ butt in the train.

Though it was supposed to be an enticing sight for me to take a peek using my “prey-animal-like-peripheral” vision and “Droopy-the-drop-out-of-the-socket-binocular-eyes-Dog” sight.

I somehow chose not to bother instead…

Which actually worries me a lil’ though…

Well, i somehow got myself thinking, is this caused by the side effect of lack of affection and too much exertion?

Am i just too fatigue to be aroused?

Will i be able to please my future husband even when i suffer chronic “Workaholic” plus “Chocoholic” Syndrome?

Am i “Kayu”?

A scene from “Sex and the City” movie suddenly pops up in my mind (Nope, not the “18 SX-rated” ones. Mind you, I’m still feeling “kayu” whilst i’m scribbling this OK. So yeah, i need help!*erk*)

There’s this scene actually, where Miranda’s husband confessed of having a one night stand affair with someone else because of the lack of “spice” in their relationship.

And there was another scene where Miranda has been too engrossed with her work that she wouldn’t even bother about her personal hygiene to the extent of not having the time to wax and growing a national forest down under *OMG, yikes!*

OK i admit, so stressful work may have somehow contributed to my sloppy-ness, messy hairdont, facial blemishes and being vertically challenged.

But Dear God, I refuse to allow myself be too carried away with struggles to achieve rewards during this present life on earth where actually i should have been working on getting greater rewards granted during life after death.

This is where i turn to my fellow Superwomen (and of course, God) for guidance!

Lately, i have been spending a lot of time with my fellow girlfriends for infusion of sanity. They have been such a great and supportive companion. I figure, i can’t live without ‘em. Whatever it is, i must make time for them. It’s like turning insane if you’ve missed an appointment with your Psycho Therapist!

We end up having endless conversations on crazy gurlie stuff like sales, stilettos,  detox (not botox), stripping party organized by Chua*wink wink*, how to survive wearing sari without showing off our bulging tummy (Rintintin dear, we’re doing this for your sake, babes!) and err.. boob job?

Most importantly, i value very much the tips sharing on having a balance life for a career woman by beautifying oneself and bringing out the aura within you (credits to my Zen Guru! ). Thanks lurvely laydeys!

To my surprise, guys my age nowadays do talk about more serious stuff compared to us, women. My road trip in a car full of guys recently has proven so. All i can recall from our conversation was merely about Oil Rigs, Politics, Property Investment and (the famous question of all *duhh*)… marriage and settling down (and yeah, there goes my shoulder gestures resembling “angkat bahu maknanya tak tahu” impression! *shesh*). How impressive their maturity level is!

Nevertheless, despite my ever so extreme lifestyle, i shall try not only to satisfy others, but also to satisfy oneself (NO, not by masturbation you silly, by meditation i meant!)

Thus, I shall pamper my self this weekend, insya-Allah. A friend of mine has actually suggested me to go for “Mandi Bunga” or “Massaij” for a start…

Hmm, good idea. Thanks.

“Cause I am a Superwoman

Yes I am

Yes she is

Still when i’m a mess

I still put on a vest

With an “S” on my chest

Oh yes

I’m a Superwoman”

P/S: MISSING.SOMEONE.SO.BADLY.(hey, looks like my Estrogen is working fine, afterall! *yeay!*)

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