He Loves Me. He Loves Me Not.
Silence tore us apart.
The space between us is where you’ll find me hiding. Waiting for you, patiently.
You were cold. We were distant. Words were unspoken. You left me questioning.
Can something be meaningful even if we can’t say what the meaning is?
Lying can’t be done alone, without someone to lie to.
However, there is no lie in pretending.
I won’t lie. I won’t pretend. If you don’t like it, just tell me straight to my face.
Time. Maybe that’s what you need.
Now, I shall be out of sight. Through the valley and over the height. In silence, I’ll take my way.
Love. Maybe that’s all we need. Now.
(Haunted lyrics of “Bruce Springsteen:Secret Garden”lingers in my head as I pen down my thoughts)
: Stuffed in my handbag~
“Doodles can be called mindless drawing. It’s one of the last places drawing still exists in a person who gave up on art long ago. A place where one line can still follow another without plan…”
Uncategorized | Comment (0).: Give PEACE a chance :.
A well respected legendary music mogul. What more can I say?
I admire the transformation Papa Ramli has undertaken from hard core metal number on his electric guitar and tight leotards to a mellowed down renditions of ethnic song with strong Malay vibes using traditional musical instruments and the values incorporated in the messages or ‘dakwah’ he conveys through his songs; mainly on humanity, peace, heritage and life’s twisted yet glorious paths.
He’s someone I really look up to. His humble intention is so pure. Indeed he exudes a manifest charisma, and most importantly, his songs speak to a profound truth.
These words may spread peace and harmony within one’s soul.
Who says you have to become a politician to touch the heart of rakyat?
Brings me to the most inane, unbelievable, outrageous, impossible acts involving the human race. Pardon the gimmick—it’s just simply the acts portrayed bysome of the Malaysian Politicians, not all.
Personally I think,sometimes they tend to say the darnest things; where they gloss over serious issues and come up with a blundering policies which eventually turn gaffs into guffaws, perfidious “patriotic” rubbish into perversion of justice and playing Saints in the name of God into a discrimination between human race.
And guess who suffers in the end, people? Hmmm….
No, I’m not naming anyone here. In fact, i’m no “politikus” resulting myself to remain ignorance to this manipulated political scenes. A British philosopher and pacifist, Bertand Russell once said; “Be isolated, be ignored, be attacked, be in doubt, be frightened, but do not be silenced.
Bare in mind, our ultimate goal at the end of the day is to make this world a better place to live in. How you do it, it’s up to you. Of course, we all have the right to voice out the truth and speak our piece.
Just make sure you look before you leap. Think before you talk. And most importantly— Listen to the voice of rakyat before you revolt.
Wake up people of Malaysia, don’t let our minds and human hearts be ‘colonized’.
Give Peace a chance.
Uncategorized | Comments (2).: Fauxtography :.
I’m suffering from Amblyopia…
I know, it might be too late already. Even though there is no hope for me, i’m not looking for perfection,i’m just looking for something or someone who can help me make it better…
Help me if you can—by advising me@ evangelia.33(at)gmail(dot)com
Thanks.
Side Note: “Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but a clever fauxtographer is worth more”. Take a peek here for more of my personal fauxtography
Uncategorized | Comment (0).: Where do we keep bad memories? (we put them in containers) :.
There are happy days and unhappy days…
Somewhere in between,
Swinging sometimes up, or dragging sometimes low…
…..
Where do sudden troublesome thoughts come from?
I don’t even know what’s bugging me.
There’s this anxiety about a past, I cannot change.
The top of my mind has no answer for this…
…..
In certain songs and stories, these things flourish.
For me, books and a radio became my map and company.
This is where, I normally escape reality…
…..
I believe they have transformational capabilities,
In the way singing does to words,
Melody can transform mood too…
Paper, ink, colours and images have conjuring abilities of their own.
Arrangements of lines, shapes, letters and words on a series of pages,
Make a world we can dwell and travel in…
…..
What happens when we put words together?
What happens when we keep words apart?
…..
I really wish I could write…
…..
But there were times when I wasn’t able to,
Though I wanted to…
…..
There were times when nothing played back.
…..
…..
…..
That, we call it — ‘Writer’s Block’
…..
I hate it when this happens…
In fact, it has happened quite frequent lately..
How come? I don’t know…
I guess, i’m still cringing about stuff I wish I could somehow forget…
!!!!@#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!
Uncategorized | Comment (0).: uNsuNg heROes :.
As the plane took off, there we were, witnessing from far, in sorrow we bid farewell, to the greatest person who walked into our life and leave memorable footsteps behind – In loving memories of Bibik Sum…
Day one without Bibik Sum…
I can see my eldest sister, experiencing the toughest undertaking in her life. I can never imagine how it would be to have a child (It’s proven enough that I make a bad sis when the kids at home end up calling me “Kak Adik yang jahat –suka kacau orang”, what more can you expect from me, to take up the role of a mother? Ooh, nasty~). I’ve come to the conclusion that motherhood is a conspiracy against women to keep one so exhausted and insane that they can’t organize their thoughts much less a revolution. Despite the crankiness it eventually causes (to the mother–not the child), the irony is that it IS a good life; to have a loving family—husband and kids by your side and grow old with you. Watching the little lives wrapped around my sister’s arms, I can see her heart on my nephew’s and niece’s sleeves, literally….
Finger pointing, high-pitch squealing, refusing to cooperate seems to be annoying actions of toddlers, which may to some extent, become a true trial of tribulations to test one’s patience. Most of her days are spent in mind-dulling routine; cleaning, laundry, household chores etc. Thus, to preserve her sanity, she must develop several “coping mechanisms” to make it possible to slip in some precious “own” time into her average day….Practicing Yoga would do best…Else, I can see her flair in cooking/baking too… You’ll do fine, sis…trust me~
I can see that being a mom isn’t an easy task. The responsibility is massive but the rewards are endless. There are days where one tends to become a “slacker” mom, just because they are just so tired. However, provided that they will never give up on each other, Insya-Allah the difference will lie in them when the kids being able to remember a mom who was there when they needed her, who supported, encouraged and scolded when necessary, and above all, who loved them unconditionally.
To all the mothers fighting, you ARE indeed the everyday folk that deserve the title “hero” in one’s life…
Muse of the day: Guilt - - What is this ugly feeling? Why is it bothering me? Why is it so hard for me to face you? As much as I want to, I tend to ignore, I tend to stutter whenever I see you. Why? It shouldn’t be this way. I miss the time when we used to bitch each other. It shouldn’t change. This feeling shouldn’t develop. I used to be heartless (towards you). Now, I’m in denial.. I hate this feeling (doesn’t mean that I hate you)…
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